“240,000 People Go To Hell Every Day”

“240,000 people go to Hell every day. That’s 158 people a minute. You can line up all the people who went to Hell in the last 10 years and have them all hold hands – if they hadn’t been chewed off by demons.

The line would circle the planet eight times. That’s why it keeps getting bigger. Jesus tells us that that “broad is the way to destruction, but narrow is the path to salvation.”‘

‘Pastor Deacon Fred’

Who knew?

Via UB Reader Chris

  • Sebaba

    They can’t do math…

  • and just think… people BELIEVE these sort of people

  •  that whole link is seriously f’ed up…”Fortunately for us, most of these demons that escape find themselves in the water (and drown because the New Testament teaches that demons, like black people, can’t swim) or they turn up in some godforsaken Arab country where everyone is damned anyway so they can’t do much harm.”

  •  that whole link is seriously f’ed up…”Fortunately for us, most of these demons that escape find themselves in the water (and drown because the New Testament teaches that demons, like black people, can’t swim) or they turn up in some godforsaken Arab country where everyone is damned anyway so they can’t do much harm.”

  • Adam Kuglin

    I can only figure demon-chewed hands is some sort of sick fetish. We all know how these homophobic preachers lace their sermons with things they can later go fap their junk thinking about in the woods behind the church.

  • Adam Kuglin

    Also, from the article you linked, you gotta love the reference to “fancy atheistic scientists” and the “Gulf of Mexicans”. Ooo, and “When you smell sulfur, you know Satan has been around.” Better stop lighting matches or running paper mills, Christians… you’re bringing Satan around.

  • Anonymous

    How do we know that God exists- or heaven or hell for that matter.  We don’t.  All we can do is live well, and do good things for other sentient beings.  I have no time for mischievous pastors who pretend that they have all the answers, when really they just want you to build up their fame as well as their coffers.  Let them believe in their version of hell and perhaps one day it will come true for them.  As for me, I choose to live in heaven on earth by leading the best possible human life I can.  I want to remind everyone that these “holy books” were written by men who had a lot to gain by oppressing anyone who was not like them.  Women, indigent people, the poor, the sick, people of other religions, people of color, LGBTQ people, and people who observed alternative cultures were all worthy of damnation according to “holy books.”  I rest my faith in the Buddha, he who offers a path of freedom here in the present moment. anyone who was not like them.  Women, indigent people, the poor, the sick, people of other religions, people of color, LGBTQ people, and people who observed alternative cultures were all worthy of damnation according to “holy books.”  I rest my faith in the Buddha, he who offers a path of freedom here in the present moment.

  • TsFlock

    Two things:

    On the upside, this is a joke site like Christwire.org. Landover Baptist has been running for years and some crazy-ass Christians have actually tried to shut it down on the grounds of it being a “hate site.” http://objectiveministries.org/shutdown/ They have failed, but it doesn’t stop them from publishing their own hateful, homophobic material. And that brings us to the second point…

    On the downside, there are undoubtedly people who DO in fact preach and believe this sort of thing. They just don’t have a Web site for it (or we haven’t found it yet), as they probably equate keyboards with Ouija boards…tools of the devil and keys to the gates of hell. (Of course, the ascension of Rebecca Black would back this up slightly…)

  • TC Wilson

     Or having sour stomach belches.

  • Jeremiah Wilkes

    Where does he get his statistics?  Does hell release it’s quarterly soul-earnings?  

  • William Kisley

    Landover Baptist is not a real church. 

  • Somebody needs to stop ripping off Blue Oyster Cults Songs. The Line was “40000 go with them every day, like romeo and Juliet”  not 24000 hell dose not  have that much real estate anymore. gods I cant stand douche bag minsters.  

  •  Lolwhut?!

  • Twana Karim

    there a song for this wats it called

  • Spencer Cornelius

    No one seems to get that is site is a spoof of typical Protestant American churches and not meant to be taken seriously..

  • Spencer Cornelius

    No one seems to realize that this whole site is a spoof (albeit a very un-PC one) of a typical Baptist church in America, and not to be taken seriously.