Last night, TV director Ryan Murphy nonchalantly told Bravo’s late-night host Andy Cohen that the plot of the upcoming season of American Horror Story will be the 2016 election, something that’s surprising considering how secretive the show was about its previous season’s plot.
Everyone agrees that the 2016 U.S. presidential election was a nightmare, so it’s an excellent choice. When Cohen asked Murphy if the season would feature a Trump character, Murphy merely said, “Maybe,” but we’ve come up with five nightmare scenarios that Murphy and company could easily integrate into the AHS plot whether it features Trump or not; be warned, though—some of these storylines are pretty horrific and potentially triggering:
The Presidential candidate turns out to be an actual puppet controlled by evil Russian forces, some sort of meat marionette animated by a combination of Eastern European witchcraft and crude Soviet-era robotics.
2. Child Trafficking
It turns out that all that Pizzagate bullshit wasn’t just a paranoid homophobic conspiracy theory and that the Democratic presidential candidate was actually involved in some nefarious child trafficking ring, hopefully one involving C.H.U.D. goblins and prominent Washington D.C. cannibals.
3. Roving Racists
Empowered by the election’s racist rhetoric, roving teams of sub-human trolls begin targeting and attacking marginalized communities, teaming up with rural police to create local hate squads and start Purge-style mass killings.
4. Ghost Towns
Frightened by the prospect of a Republican victory, entire towns and cities immigrate to Canada and Europe, creating a frenzied rush at airports and border crossings and leaving entire metropolitan areas as vacant ghost towns where abandoned children and old people linger as wild animals and viruses begin to roam.
The Republican presidential candidate ends up being a super-corrupt, pathologically lying, self-confessed sexual assaulter of women who promises to persecute the country’s most marginalized citizens, particularly Muslims and undocumented Hispanics.
Oh, wait, that last one actually happened—scaaaaaaary!
It’s also worth mentioning that the recent Carnevale di Viareggio in Italy featured a horrifying Trump float with a gun-toting Statue of Liberty riding Trump’s hair, a people-of-color shooting gallery and freaky American cowgirls dancing to “American Idiot” and “Thank God I’m a Country Boy.” Eek!
You can see video of the float below.