Stay Warm This Winter with a Made-to-Order 8-Bit Penis Scarf

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In the words of Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin, “Winter is coming, so you’d better grab your 8-bit crocheted penis scarf.”

We’re pretty sure he said that, and now, thanks to SynDarkDesigns on Etsy, you can comply.

From the listing:

This listing is for one MADE TO ORDER, handmade crochet 8bit Penis Scarf with pockets. The scarves are made to order in any colour combination you can think of. They feature two large pockets in the testicles big enough to fit your hands into.

Perfect as a gag gift or a hen’s night, these scarves are real conversation starters. They have a nostalgic 8bit style that emulates old video games.

Each scarf, measures 2.m from the bottom of the middle of the testicles to the tip of the shaft; long enough to wrap around your head and neck. Made from hypoallergenic acrylic that won’t leave your neck itchy, 100% handmade in Western Australia; this is a scarf that will turn heads and have people asking ‘Where did you get that!’.

Custom Cat colours range from UV reactive designs [glows under blacklight!], to your very own custom colours… even with wording running down the scarf! Your imagination is the limit, be sure to explain clearly what you are after in your order.

If you order one, you should receive it within a couple weeks, which allows plenty of time to rock a giant-size penis outdoors no matter how low the temperature drops.