Mommie Dearest, Faye Dunaway, Mara Hobel, Christina Crawford, Joan Crawford

You Can Now Buy the Mansion from ‘Mommie Dearest’ for Only $35 Million

Depending on your sense of humor, the 1981 film Mommie Dearest is either one of the funniest or most frightening films ever made. It features Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford, an iconic Hollywood actress who becomes psychotically abusive towards her children as her film career hits the skids. The film was a commercial success and has since become a camp cult-classic, and now you can own the mansion where it took place — if you have $35 million laying around, that is.

Mommie Dearest, pool, staircase
LIVE THE NIGHTMARE: The grand staircase and backyard pool from Mommie Dearest

That’s right! For roughly the GDP of the island nation of Tuvalu, you can relive the film’s most memorable scenes in the very house where they occurred: handily outrace your child in the backyard swimming pool, regale male suitors as you saunter down the grand staircase and then cut the garden to pieces using your favorite hedge clippers and axe. Finally, you can act like the monstrous Hollywood starlet you’ve always wanted to be (but make sure it’s just an act, as there’s nothing funny about actual abuse).

According to AllDayBuzzing.com, the 1930s traditional Colonial-style home “hasn’t changed much at all… with its Palladian mirrors and windows, french doors, antique marble fireplace, rolling lawns, and full-size tennis court… the six bedrooms and five bathrooms on the 1.66-acre lot have remained pretty much the same.”

Presumably the new owner can furnish the house however they want. But please, no wire hangers.