Donald Trump, rooster statue, China, Casey Latiolais, Taiyuan

China Finally Acknowledges that Trump is a Big Cock

Everyone knows that President-Elect Donald Trump has teeny-tiny baby hands, but did you know he has a big cock? Well, he does in northern China at least. A shopping mall in Taiyuan recently erected a 23-foot rooster statue with Trump’s hairdo, presumably in anticipation of the Chinese zodiac’s Year of the Rooster (which begins January 28, just eight days after that cock’s inauguration).

A Chinese based real-estate company actually contacted Seattle-based American artist, Casey Latiolais, to design the statue, but the company didn’t ask for it to resemble Trump. Latiolas declined to say why he did. Maybe it has to do with Trump acting like a cock towards China? Trump has promised to label China a currency manipulator, raise tariffs on their imports and disturbed U.S.-China relations by speaking directly with Taiwan. It takes a big cock to mess with the world’s biggest country (in terms of population, at least).

Even though the Trump statue is to mark the year of the Rooster, Trump was actually born in 1946, the Year of the Dog. Dogs are supposed to be honest, friendly, faithful, loyal, smart, straightforward, venerable and have a strong sense of responsibility—that sounds nothing like Trump, a man who regularly lies, stiffs his employees and threatens global economic stability with his reckless tweets.

Dogs are also likely to be self-righteous, cold, terribly stubborn, slippery, critical of others and not good at social activities. Yep, that sounds like him all right.