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Fidget Spinner Butt Plugs Are Now an Actual Thing

We’re all about sex positivity and good humor here, which is why we occasionally point out ridiculously zeitgeist-y sex toys like the Pokémon-themed dildos or the Aliens-style ovipositor that inserts gelatin eggs in your uterus or colon. The newest example of tragically modern sex toys is the fidget spinner butt plug.

Fidget spinners have recently become the hot new fad among U.S. youth. They’re “small, ball-bearing devices” that users can rotate between their fingers” and they’re “marketed as an antidote for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety and autism” (though there’s no clinical evidence that they actually alleviate any of those).

Gay vlogger Machaizelli Kahey (aka. Mac Does It) recently made a video for fidget spinners, calling them “the fucking greatest fucking thing in the fucking universe”:

 

Kahey claims that the company that makes fidget spinners recently offered to sponsor him: “Follow your dreams.”

Anyway, an Etsy shop called GlowFyourself recently started selling a $35 fidget spinner buttplug (there’s even a glow-in-the-dark variation) with the following priceless sales copy:

Here to help keep that A$$ focused, we present to you our custom-made fidget spinner butt plugs! That’s right, help combat ADHD and get stuff done with your very own booty spinning adventure toy!

Available in 3 sizes to fit any attention span, get yours today and get $hit done!

More details to follow soon, novelty use only, don’t do anything stupid lol

fidget butt plug
(image via glowfuckyourself.com)

We’re not sure what “novelty use only” means when it comes to butt toys, but by “do anything stupid,” we imagine that GlowFYourself is probably trying to avoid lawsuits for when an overzealous user inevitably ends up with a fidget spinner in their lower colon, which is pretty much inevitable seeing as humans like to stick all sorts of weird things up there.

Gives a new meaning to the phrase, “sit and spin.”

(Featured image by izusek via iStock Photography)