homophobic aunt text messages

This Queer Man’s String of Text Messages to His Homophobic Auntie Is the Shade of Legends

Arkee E. — a black, pansexual writer who has published articles with The Huffington Post, Blavity and Afropunk — recently tweeted out screen captures of homophobic aunt text messages in which he reads her to filth for saying he’ll go to hell.

Arkee E. ain’t having it, no ma’am. And his read is bringing all the book lovers to the library.


The background story behind the homophobic aunt text messages

Boy Culture shared the exchange. It started when Arkee E.’s aunt read an article he published at Afropunk entitled, “Losing My Father to Toxic Masculinity and Trying to Recover My Broken Spirit.”

It’s a heartbreaking article in which he recalls his teenage relationship with his homophobic and verbally abusive father after he came home from a 13-year prison sentence. His dad immediately rejects him as “gay,” effectively killing the innocent, loving child who once looked forward to his letters from prison.

Apparently Arkee E.’s aunt read the article and sent him a text message wondering if she could ask him a question. He responded, “Sure. What’s up?”

She said, “I read that Afropunk article you wrote about your father…. Are you gay?”

He replied, “I’m pansexual which means that my attraction for people is not limited to gender identity.”

“So basically you like men,” she said.

He texted back, “I mean, yes.”


The homophobic aunt text messages….

“Sweetie, you know I love you,” she replied, “but that’s unacceptable. We don’t have gay people in our fam!” She continued, “You need to pray that shit away. It is not okay. God does not like that!!”

And then Arkee E. initially clapped back with a light touch:

Hey, I appreciate your concern about my lifestyle albeit your inactiveness in my life. You never bought me a single thing in my life.… not a cookie, not a glass of milk to dunk it in, and not a napkin to wipe my milk mustache off.

While you’re worrying about my sexuality and what God is and isn’t okay with, you are shacking up with a whole married man in your house, and you’re not even divorced from your first husband. Don’t try to point out the wood in my eye when you have a whole plank in yours.

The aunt responded, “Don’t try to judge me because you’re a faggot. I am only telling you this because I don’t want you to go to hell.”


And then begins the epic read in response to the homophobic aunt text messages

And that — ladies and gentlemen (and everyone outside and in-between) — is when Arkee E. reads her for absolute filth. Buckle up, because auntie is about to go on a long, ugly ride:

Listen here, you saggy old, uneducated former drug-addict who had her children taken away twice: You cannot judge anyone. You walked down a dangerous path, collected every sexually transmitted infection that you can, and one day decided to put on an ashy ass wig and become a woman of God.

You’re absolutely nothing. You are a disgusting old homophobe that’ll drop her shit-stained panties for any guy that smiles at you, whether they’re missing teeth or not.

And yes, I do like men. And also, the guys I go for run rings around the guys you bring home every Saturday night, right before you run to church every Sunday and act like you do no wrong.

You can’t comment on anyone’s sexuality either, sweetie. At one point in time, you was licking and sucking on clits to pay for crack instead of taking care of your children, that’s why they got taken away twice — not once, but twice.

You’re an unfit mother, an unfit grandmother, an unfit aunty, an unfit sister, an unfit pet owner and an unfit human being altogether.

Stop worrying about my lifestyle and worry about how you’re going to remove the crows feet from underneath your eyes and the potholes on your face from your meth ear, Pastor Dusty Wig. Bye, ugly.

All she could come back with was, “You are a rude little boy. I will be calling your mother!!!”

He replied, “Call your fucking sponsor, crackhead. Blocked.”


What happened after the initial homophobic aunt text messages

According to Arkee E., when he told his mother about the exchange, she replied, “Boy, why didn’t you tell her to find her dentures before running her mouth?” Dead.

Lucky for us, he posted the screen caps of their exchange on Twitter. And when someone told him that he needed to respect his elders, he responded, “Don’t tell me how to respond to targeted hate. That’s what we’re not going to do on this joyous day,” meaning his birthday which was yesterday.

He continued, “You can be Jesus, that does not make you exempt from a good read. I woulda dragged him by his flip flops too, if he said this bullshit to me.”

Arkee E. later tweeted, “My aunt that called me a faggot sent my cousin to apologize on her behalf and said because she was drinking too much. Then asked me to apologize to her, too. Fuck out of here. You being homophobic while under the influence is just you saying what you want to really say.”

The string of homophobic aunt text messages is the sweetest vat of hot tea we have seen in a good, long while. Never mess with writers — they got sharp pens, don’t ya know?


Featured image by FS-Stock via iStock

  • Chinua

    One of the best comebacks I’ve ever seen 🙂 good for him!

  • Leonardo DaVinci Barnette


  • BlackNGreen

    I love it!

  • And let the MIC DROPS roll!

  • He snatched her WHOLE collection of wigs!!!

  • His aunt sounds vile.

    But does this guy identify as ‘queer’?

    If so then he is inviting abuse on himself.

    ‘Queer’ remains a toxic, homophobic hate slur used by extraordinarily stupid, ignorant LGBT people.

    People who use that hate slur are not connected to LGBT history and hate their LGBT elders.

  • Levi Fernandes De Assis

    please we’ve evolved hunny.. we can choose how words affect us nowdays.

  • Mary Wood

    Love it from the GREAT COMMUNICATOR and TEACHER, bet Auntie won’t try that again. A Great laugh to end the awful year of 2017. Thank you, my ‘Pansexual” friend!

  • Phoenix

    Where the funk have you been, Pappy? “Queer” was reclaimed ions ago.

  • Doc Evil

    When those that were the target of that word, and there are others,btw, use it in their own contexts, they reclaim it, remove the sting from it, and reform it to their liking. YOUR opinion of their act of personal empowerment is only for your consumption.

  • Edward Michael Francis

    I’m a gay man and this was the wrong thing to do… let’s break this down in terms of choices that were being made. There was an argument, there were hurt feelings… then she tried to apologize, albeit in a very indirect and childish way but she was trying to reach out, would it have killed him to acknowledge that? Would it have killed him to say he was sorry for calling her names because technically that wasn’t a healthy or productive way for him to respond? His relationship with his aunt could have been salvaged and he might have even been able to dialog with her further and convince her that she was wrong… but he chose to try and fight hate with more hate which is totally destructive. I’m not religious but Jesus was dead on about that… fire against fire just burns everything and we’re all left with nothing. Both parties behaved atrociously in this story and if we all continue this pattern of behavior, it’s only going to lead to more violence, more hatred, more broken. Respond with love.

  • Dixon Ivy Drip Miller

    Really? Queer is a bad word? I never got that memo. And Kelly Lauren is NOT a prostitute. I have known her since 1992 and she has been in a successful recovery program for many years. Clearly, you do not know her very well. After reviewing your many posts I can only assume that you are not the type that welcome people of all the sexual/gender variations that exist in this world. Open your heart and your mind a wee bit more . There is so much for you to gain from that.

  • Dixon Ivy Drip Miller

    No, Auntie reaped what she has sown. There comes a time when you find that kind, touchy-geeky approaches are useless. Aunty came after him with no desire or even a faint sign to show she was open to learning anything about her nephews way of life or even finding a middle ground where they could have an intelligent dialogue. Once that became obvious he had every right to slam her to the mat at have her take a good, hard look in the mirror and acknowledge that her life choices were of her own making.A persons sexuality is not a choice. Aunty needed someone to call her out on her hypocrisy and her failings as a human being. I must confess that, despite his abject frankness, he nailed his Aunty to the wall and I doubt she will ever try to humilate him again.

  • Dixon Ivy Drip Miller

    You say that Aunty tried to reach out? I disagree.. AEB her homophobic text messages….

    “Sweetie, you know I love you,” she replied, “but that’s unacceptable. We don’t have gay people in our fam!” She acontinued, “You need to pray that shit away. It is not okay. God does not like that!!”
    I do not on ow what part of the country you are from but when a Southern lady says something that appears benign (on the surface) it is, most likely, a dagger shoved in the back of the other person. If I say ‘Bless your heart” it is the same as saying “Sweet Jeezus, you are as dumb as a box of hair’. The Aunty had no intention of making an effort to understand that young man.

  • Jackie Kirnbauer

    Dude you do you and let everyone deal with their families themselves.

  • Tony Lawrence

    Sometimes you have to speak your mind especially when those you are responding to need to hear the truth. His relationship wasn’t salvageable until his aunt accepts his life choices are his business.

  • He didn’t have a relationship with his aunt to salvage.

  • Belinda Davenport

    When they hit us the answer is to hit back harder and he sure did and sent this douche bag running.

  • zeldafitzgerald

    I’m extremely proud of you

  • malsperanza

    Nah, man. Sometimes you have to call out hate. Call. It. Out. Especially in the family, which should be your source of strength in the world.

  • malsperanza

    Props to Mom for her instant and strong support. That is how you do mom.

  • Luddite

    Who the fuck are you? Dear Abby?

  • Callista Graves

    Fuck no. His Aunt is a hateful old hag hypocrite. And stop this “both sides” nonsense. You don’t salvage “relationships” with people that talk to you like you’re not a human being.

    You cut those people out of your life, and yeah, even if they are blood, you don’t owe any of them tolerance or consideration if they won’t even respect you on a basic level.

    You don’t get to call your relative a slur and then say “oops my bad.”

    It don’t work that way son.

  • Callista Graves

    Why? What the fuck does that have to do with her being a bigot piece of shit? I know people like her, people in my family, I have white trash relatives who are dirt poor, and still voted for Trump, and when I say a thing against their orange messiah, they start to break out the transphobic shit and misgender me.

    Nope. I even cut my mother the fuck out of my life because she’s fucking shitty and toxic.

    I don’t give a fuck if she gave birth to me, she’s terrible and treats me life shit, so to hell with her, and every other so called “family” that rely on that bullshit “blood is thicker than water” nonsense.

    It isn’t.

    Love can conquer anything, but they choose to hate me, so I reject them as non entities.

  • homasapiens

    It would be the wrong thing for YOU to do, Edward. You do you, and if that includes turning the other cheek a thousand times to the same person so they can deliver blow after blow– that’s YOUR choice. It doesn’t have to be anyone else’s.

    Personally I would not have used the language Arkee uses, but that’s only because I wouldn’t have thought of it in time.

  • Power Infiniti


  • Loki’s Courtesan

    Excellent! The nasty hoe bag deserved it.

  • Bethany Joy Davis

    I never made a blood is thicker than water argument. I said that woman’s been through hell and he shouldn’t read her for the prostitution, the addiction, or losing her kids. That’s three tragedies most of us haven’t had to live through. He can read her for being hypocritical or hateful but how are you going to read someone for being a victim?

  • Antwan Foster

    And that’s how people get walked all over. Sometimes responding with love and kindness means that you will be taken advantage of. There are times where people have to be assertive to defend themselves from emotional trauma.

  • Michael Castro

    In a nutshell, the wrong thing for YOU to do. Not him.

  • Angelina Marie

    Scream-laughing darlin!

  • Angelina Marie

    I’ve had to cut ties with family who were abusive to me (not transphobically, but just flat-out abusive), and I haven’t missed ’em.

    Honey, the responsibility lies with the one who brings the hate. That is aunty. Aunty was given a chance to back down, and failed to take it.

    I don’t think he’s going to miss this person either. I don’t think YOU get it.

  • Angelina Marie

    It’s time to draw the line: being queer isn’t an invitation to debate.

  • Tracy Scott

    Victim? Did somebody hold a gun to her head and forced her to do meth?

  • Bethany Joy Davis

    Who knows, I wasn’t there. I’m guessing not. But addiction is a disease. Prostitution is dangerous and dehumanizing. And losing your children is a tragedy, not a punchline–even if your parenting warranted it. Like I said, she was wrong for criticizing his identity. But I feel like the reactions were completely lopsided.

  • The Blogging Queen

    I hear what you are saying. However, I respectfully disagree.

  • The Blogging Queen


  • PD

    That’s great that you are able to take care off yourself like that. My best friend puts up with abuse from his family and keeps going back and never learns. Its sad.

  • Pearlbuck

    Thanks for your thoughtful comment. The woman sounds like a really messed up simpleton–and she thought she was trying to save the guy’s soul. His decision to humiliate her publicly like that was, as you said, a terrible choice.

  • k.h.h.

    Snatched and tossed into the flames of her own heaux shit. I CACKLED!!

  • Soucouyantt

    Black family dysfunction isn’t entertaining. When you use sex, gender and class shame to humiliate homophobia, who wins?

  • CodeStud3

    Sounds made up.

  • HeyYouKidsGetOffMyLawn

    ^^^ this is some wypipo shit.

  • HeyYouKidsGetOffMyLawn

    [quote] ‘Queer’ remains a toxic, homophobic hate slur

    I’m sure it was in 1978 or 1988, but for the millions of us who aren’t living that eldergay history, that word has been reclaimed. If you don’t like it, then don’t use it. It’s a statement of truth, and never – ever – an invitation for abuse.

  • Zeke Durham

    This is an amazing comeback. Good for him. But, it should’ve stopped there. There was absolutely NO need to make all this public. What did THAT accomplish? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

  • Strepsi

    I’m a gay man too, and don’t worry, we’ll be removing Edward’s gay card the next time he passes through the Gay Lobby.

  • Strepsi

    I am an eldergay and I always loved it – because if you look at what is not religiously-approved sex (monogamous, inside a marriage, and only for the purpose of procreation) then the MAJORITY is queer.