Top Model Isis King on Dating, Relationships, Abstinence and Self-Worth as a Trans Woman

As the first transgender woman to compete on America’s Next Top Model and as one of the most visible trans people currently on television, she has gained quite a bit of success and recognition. But when it comes to Isis King and dating, she reveals things have been anything but successful.

During her recent Hey Qween interview with host Jonny McGovern, King revealed just how hard it is to find a committed partner as a trans women in the public eye.

“It’s hard, because a guy could be so into you, telling you that you’re so beautiful and that it’s so great what you’re doing with your life,” King explains. “But as soon as he finds out that you’re trans, it doesn’t matter how established you are. Most of the time that all disappears to them.”

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In King’s experience, most men aren’t comfortable being in a public relationship with a trans woman, instead more interested in discreet sexual encounters.

“Most guys would say that they’re not looking for a relationship, but will say we can hang out and hookup. But, you know, I’m in a place in my life where I know I’m more than that,” she says. “A guy can get his rocks off and then just keep going, but I’m an emotional person. Why should you be able to get something and go, while I’m left here with all these emotions?”

So how does one find the ideal mate while still trying to fully discover themselves?

For this top model, it’s all about knowing your self-worth and not being afraid to wait for the right moment.

“I’m a grown woman, and I’ve been abstinent for over two years at this point,” King reveals. “I’ve decided that when something good comes along that I think is right for me, then that would be my next person.”

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At 31, King hasn’t given up on finding a partner, but she does so with a mindset of self-love and appreciation.

“I realized one day that you only accept what you think you’re worth, so I really had to reprogram my own brain,” she says. “It took me my entire 20s, two abusive relationships and seeing my mom in two abusive relationships to make me realize this was a cycle I needed to break.”

For King, settling down with a loving partner will always be ideal, but it’s the relationship she has with herself that is most important.

Below, watch Isis King discuss her dating and relationship drama:

And find more Hey Qween here.

 

Featured image of Isis King by Matt Monath