Donald Trump claims to have made Obama do what no one else could do.

Obama Releases Birth Certificate; Trump Gloats

After an intensifying debate from the birthers – folks who believe that Obama was not born in the United States – the White House has officially released Obama’s birth certificate.

Donald Trump claims to have made Obama do what no one else could do.
"You're fired!"

And while the birthers had been questioning Obama’s heritage long before he won the presidency, Donald Trump is claiming victory. Trump told reporters in New Hampshire, “I am very honored and proud that I did something no one else could do.”

The ego of this man is incredible! What do you expect to happen when you harp on and on and on about Obama’s heritage at every single opportunity, driving ratings and pageviews? Congratulations, you made such a brouhaha that distracted the country from the true problems at hand!

Obama responds, saying that we are not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by “sideshows and carnival barkers” – which is a good analogy for Trump’s entire pre-campaigning.  “We don’t have time for this kind of silliness,” the President continued, “We’ve got some enormous challenges out there.”

Indeed, we do! Thankfully, this issue will no longer be an issue – at least, it shouldn’t be. Surely the crazy right-wing nut jobs will still talk about how they can’t trust a document released by the White House and that this is some complex liberal conspiracy to allow America to be taking over by radical Muslims from Kenya.

Showing how much this issue impacted him, Obama had a rare press conference to discuss the issue:

  • How much you want to bet the birthers will call it a fake? I’d tell my grandma (who recently revealed that she’s a birther) but she’d probably call it “a bunch of lies to lure America into a false sense of security while Obama takes over our country with his Socialist agenda” -eye roll-

    Interestingly, my grandma used to be an intelligent woman. She was the only person I knew who was smarter than me. (I had a very high IQ as a kid… I’ve kind of levelled out now, though… :/) Then, she started watching Fox News… Coincidence? I think not…

  • Anonymous

    We should not need to see his birth certificat­e at all. By virtue of his mother’s citizenshi­p, he would be a citizen even if he was born on the moon.

    Title 8 of the U.S. Code fills in the gaps left by the Constituti­on. Section 1401 defines the following as people who are “citizens of the United States at birth:”

    Anyone born inside the United States *

    Any one born outside the United States, if one parent is an alien and as long as the other parent is a citizen of the U.S. who lived in the U.S. for at least five years (with military and diplomatic service included in this time)

    Any one born outside the United States, both of whose parents are citizens of the U.S., as long as one parent has lived in the U.S.

    Any one born outside the United States, if one parent is a citizen and lived in the U.S. for at least one year and the other parent is a U.S. national

    Any one born in a U.S. possession­, if one parent is a citizen and lived in the U.S. for at least one year

    Any one found in the U.S. under the age of five, whose parentage cannot be determined­, as long as proof of non-citize­nship is not provided by age 21

    Trump’s Jamaican birth certificat­e applies in the same code.

  • okay… so it’s trump’s turn to put up AND shut up…. the document trump released the other week was just a cert. of live birth (just like the first one obama released)… so where is trump’s ACTUAL birth certificate? also… i would like to see papers for the pomeranian he keeps on his head…. akc papers and his vet records, please.

  • Kristen Starkey Walker

    Thank you! About time someone realized that. My sister was born in Germany due to us being stationed there at the time. Doesn’t make her German, she’s still American. She has a “born abroad” certificate that she can exchange for a U.S. birth certificate when she turns 18. Until then, she has dual citizenship. But, DUAL citizenship….is still citizenship.
    His mom is a citizen, and therefore, no matter WHERE he was born, he is a citizen. I don’t see why this is so hard for people to understand.

  • Adam Kuglin

    I think with the release of the long-form certificate they’ve been squealing about, we now have to refer to them as the after-birthers. Amirite?

  • Trenton Flock

    I guess the party’s over for Trump’s private “researchers” who are uncovering stuff “you won’t believe” in Hawaii. I’m just DYING to know what they discovered… Mayhaps that Trump’s resort is a woefully overpriced, tacky piece of trash built by and for vainglorious dickheads. Shocker…