Yes, One Direction Singer Harry Styles’ Dick Pic Qualifies as Kiddie Porn

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Around Jan. 10, 2012, a nude pic of Harry Styles — one of the lanky brunettes in the Brit boy band One Direction — hit the web.

At the time, the now tattooed performer denied it was him. Yesterday, Ed Sheeran — a red-haired ginger friend of Styles who’d written songs for One Direction — claimed that Styles had leaked the photo himself, and yes, it was of his penis.

Since Styles was born Feb. 1, 1994, the nude pic is actually of a 17-year-old. You have to be 18 to legally appear in porn in the United States and the UK — anyone possessing a nude pic of someone below the age of 18 is actually in possession of kiddie porn.

We could chicken-egg this and ask whether Styles is to blame for turning hundreds of thousands into federal criminals or whether he, like so many child porn performers before him, was forced by a corrupt system of adults to exploit himself, the uncertainty of near adulthood pressuring him to self-make kiddie porn before he legally became an adult.

Either way, if you’ve viewed or saved Styles’ pic, you’ve committed a federal crime. The 17-year-old Styles helped you commit it. Well, him and The Gaily Grind. They’ve linked to it, so they’re basically kiddie porn peddlers too.

You, him, and them, we’re all going to hell.

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