Vice Magazine reporter (Re: not a gay blog) Jamie Taete cooked up a Lenten-esque socio-sexual experiment and decided to give up his gayness for a month. Everything from his home furnishings, laundry habits and use of conditioner was transformed into a Bizarro World heterosexual reflection of what it used to be.
Thanks to religion and the fact that certain people find butt sex “totally gross,” being gay can sometimes be a huge bummer. Due to this, there are some who would like to “leave the lifestyle.” But can this be done? Were we “born this way,” or do we have a choice?
It turns out, no. No, we don’t. But hey, you already knew that. Doesn’t stop us from enjoying Taete’s hilarious experiment though!
Because I live in England and not some developing country like Nigeria, Iran, or the USA, I was unable to locate a church that would perform a gay exorcism on me (lame), or even find one with strong antihomosexual leanings. My best bet was an organization called the Christian Revival Church that, according to their website, believes “in heterosexual relationships between a natural man and a natural woman within the confines of lawful matrimony. Adherence to this stated principle of sexual behavior is an inherent requirement of membership.”
It’s been a while since I’ve attended a church service, and they’ve really upped their game since my last visit. For starters, it was held inside a cinema with big La-Z-Boy seats and a Starbucks in the lobby.
Instead of the congregation singing hymnals from a book, a guy with gelled hair and dog tags hanging around his neck led a band that played MGMT and Arcade Fire rip-offs with religious lyrics that scrolled across the movie screen like it was a karaoke party for Jesus. The talking part was as boring as ever, but weirdly, the topic of discussion in my final week was Sodom and Gomorrah. Was this a sign from God?
I also started praying regularly, which I’d never done before. At first it was a total snoozefest, but eventually I got used to it and it was kind of nice to have ten minutes of quiet time each night.
Effectiveness: 1 out of 10 again. I was going to burn in hell forever, I guess.
Taete’s other categories (Regaining My Masculinity, Abstinence, and Reparative Therapy) are equally deserving of your attention. Puh-leeze give the rest of the article a read HERE.
What do you think of Taete’s socio-pseudo-sexual experiment? Could you give up your gayness for a month? For an hour? Thoughts?