In an attempt to help clear their reputation, the next Republican debate force all candidates to wear lie detectors, set to alert the crowd when candidates don’t tell the truth. GOP Chairman Reince Priebus said, “The Republican Party is in trouble — you know it, we know it. Hell, it might not even survive the election. But to stop accusations of lying, we’re strapping a lie detector on every candidate, whether they want to or not. We need to remind the American public that we’re the party of Honest Abe Lin…”
…nope; we’re pretty sure those suckers’d blow up in the first five minutes if this were true.