Sarah Palin Writes Email To Herself From God (Seriously)

Ahem. For your viewing (dis?)pleasure, Unicorn Booty proudly presents Sarah Palin’s email written to, um, Sarah Palin from…err…God.

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To the Sisters, Brother, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Friends of Trig Paxson Van Palin (or whatever you end up naming him!):

I am blessing you with this surprise baby because I only want the best for you. I’ve heard your prayers that this baby will be happy and healthy, and I’ve answered them because I only want the best for you!

I heard your heart when you hinted that another boy would fit best in the Palin family, to round it out and complete that starting five line-up.

Though another girl would be so nice, you didn’t think you could ask for what you REALLY wanted, but I knew, so I gave you a boy because I only want the best for you!

Then, I put the idea in your hearts that his name should be ‘Trig’, because it’s so fitting, with two Norse meanings: “True” and “Brave Victory”. You also have a Bristol Bay relative with that name, so I knew it would be best for you!

Then, I let Trig’s mom have an exceptionally comfortable pregnancy so she could enjoy every minute of it, and I even seemed to rush it along so she could wait until near the end to surprise you with the news – that way Piper wouldn’t have so long to wait and count down so many days – just like Christmastime when you have to wait, impatiently, for that special day to finally open your gift? (Or the way the Palmas look forward to birthday celebrations that go on for three, four days_ you all really like cake.) I know you, I knew you’d be better off with just a short time to wait!

Then, finally, I let Trig’s mom and dad find out before he was born that this little boy will truly be a GIFT. They were told in early tests that Trig may provide more challenges, and more joy, than what they ever may have imagined or ever asked for.

At first the news seemed unreal and sad and confusing. But I gave Trig’s mom and dad lots of time to think about it because they needed lots of time to understand that everything will be OK, in fact, everything will be great, because I only want the best for you!

I’ve given Trig’s mom and dad peace and joy as they wait to meet their new son. I gave them a happy anticipation because they asked me for that.

I’ll give all of you the same happy anticipation and strength to deal with Trig’s challenges, but I won’t impose on you… I just need to know you want to receive my offer to be with all of you and help you everyday to make Trig’s life a great one.

This new person in your life can help everyone put things in perspective and bind us together and get everyone focused on what really matters.

The baby will expand your world and let you see and feel things you haven’t experienced yet. He’ll show you what “true, brave victory” really means as those who love him will think less about self and focus less on what the world tells you is “normal” or “perfect°.

You will grow and be blessed with greater understanding that will he born along with Trig.Trig will be his dad’s little buddy and he’ll wear Carhartts while he learns to tinker in the garage. He’ll love to be read to, he’ll want to play goalie, and he’ll steal his mom’s heart just like Track, Bristol, Willow and Piper did.

And Trig will be the cuddly, innocent, mischievous, dependent little brother that his siblings have been waiting for_in fact Trig will – in some diagnostic ways – always be a mischievous, dependent little brother, because I created him a bit different than a lot of babies born into this world today.

Every child is created special, with awesome purpose and amazing potential. Children are the most precious and promising ingredient in this mixed up world you live in down there on earth. Trig is no different, except he has one extra chromosome. Doctors call it “Down’s Syndrome”, and Downs kids have challenges, but can bring you much delight and more love than you can ever imagine! Just wait and see, let me prove this, because I only want the best for you!

Some of the rest of the world may not want him, but take comfort in that because the world will not compete for him. Take care of him and he will always be yours!

Trig’s mom and dad don’t want people to focus on the baby’s extra chromosome. They’re human, so they haven’t known how to explain this to people who are so caring and are interested in this new little Alaskan. Sarah and Todd want people to share in the joy of this gift I’m giving to the Palin family, and the greater Alaska family.

Many people won’t understand_ and I understand that. Some will think Trig should not be allowed to be born because they fear a Downs child won’t be considered “perfect” in your world. (But tell me, what do you earthlings consider “perfect” or even “normal” anyway? Have you peeked down any grocery store isle, or school hallway, or into your office lunchroom lately? Or considered the odd celebrities you celebrate as “perfect” on t.v.? Have you noticed I make ’em all shapes and sizes? Believe me, there is no “perfect”!)

Many people will express sympathy, but you don’t want or need that, because Trig will be a joy. You will have to trust me on this.

I know it will take time to grasp this and come to accept that I only want the best for you, and I only give my best. Remember though: “My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts- for as the heavens are higher than the earth, my ways are higher than yours!”

I wrote that all down for you in the Good Book! Look it up! You claim that you believe me – now it’s time to live out that belief!

Please look to me as this new challenge and chapter of life unfolds in front of you. I promise to equip you. I won’t give you anything you can’t handle. I am answering your prayers. Trig can’t wait to meet you. I’m giving you ONLY THE BEST!

Love,
Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father

Touching though it may be, wow. Just wow.

  • Well…That’s kinda…crazy…

  • mu_linlin7

    That’s actually kind of cute.

  • That you’d post this is distasteful.

  • It’s cute, but still really crazy. 

  • Look i don’t like her but if she had to write an email to herself in the words of “god” during a challenging time then ok maybe she isn’t all that insane but then i go back to the fact that she wrote a letter to herself in the words of “god” <- totally not a real person btw. I'm sorry she is a nut please commit her. In Alaska where she was governor she did some good things but what good she did was dwarfed by all the bad. I'm sorry if you don't know what i'm talking about Google her policies before 2008 OK and you will see that she taxed the oil drillers but then banned books from library's cause they weren't christian…..

  • Honestly, this woman says and does some truly vile things, but this is not one of them and we only make ourselves look like petty callous jerks by mocking her for it. If we can’t deem to see the humanity in others, how can we expect them to see it in us?

  • Chris Goddard

    Look, can’t stand Sarah Palin, and she says some actually damaging and scary shit… this isn’t part of it. She’s a Christian… she’s allowed to be, remember? If this helped her through a challenging time with having a baby with a disability, then there’s nothing wrong with it. Come on boys, you’re better than this.

  • Bryan David Landry

    Creepy…

  • Tara A

    I wonder if she will still consider her children a blessing if one them is gay.

  • Andrew

    She shouldn’t be mocked for this. I hope this post is removed soon. I don’t get it.

  • Victoria R. Austin

    Something for one’s self in private, no problem. Why is this in the public discourse? To my mind, the fact this is out there tells me she may be using this as a media stunt, which I disagree with. Have your faith, keep your faith, celebrate your faith. Keep it private.

  • Patrick Clementine

    i don’t think there’s anything wrong with this, many don’t like her but this is about her child so i don’t think we need to whine and become irritated about this

  • Julia Powell

    I can’t tolerate this woman on any level.. but this letter is moving, touching the heart in a way it should. I’m not sure where it came from because I can’t imagine it coming from her. But if it did it’s nice to know there is a human side to her. She still scares me tho!

  • Aldrea Orcinae

    I don’t think it’s in bad taste to post this.  The more people realize that Sarah Palin is batshit insane, the better.  If we have to lay her shit bare to do it, then I applaud UB for having the bravery to bring it up.
    By the way…Sarah Palin is batshit insane.

  • Scott Thompson

    “He’ll show you what “true, brave victory” really means as those who love
    him will think less about self and focus less on what the world tells
    you is “normal” or “perfect°.”

    That’s the only thing that really bothered me about this, knowing her stance as anti-gay, but really, this is a personal email and I don’t think you really needed to post it. What’s the big problem? If it was a political statement in the voice of god, sure, that’d be ridiculous, but I think she’s just using a metaphor to help her family through a hard time. She’s not a cartoon villain, you know.

  • I’m torn, I admit it.

    At first, I agree that this shouldn’t be part of public discourse — there’s no reason for us to be reading a private email, no matter how insane it makes her look.

    Then I realize: If this really IS from her, then either she or a recipient decided to MAKE this our business.  At that point, once it’s out there, it deserves whatever it gets.

    Now, don’t get me wrong — I’m not a Christian by any stretch of the imagination.  I subscribe to many things that Christ, according to the Bible, supposedly taught — but that is so completely removed from the concept of modern Christianity as to often be laughable.  If it weren’t, I’d be a bit more comfortable identifying myself as a Christian, if only philosophically.  As it stands, though, the most vocal proponents of Christianity — including Palin — espouse bigotry, hate-thy-neighbor, and judge-in-God’s-place.  (Each of those, for those who aren’t up on the teachings of Christ, are very much against what he taught — again, according to the Bible.)

    So yea.  Is it wrong that I have a distrust of people who talk about “embracing difference” in the name of God, but in the next breath say “except for the gays, they’re going to Hell”?  Is it wrong that I WANT to mock people like that?  I certainly hope not, because I find hypocrisy to be one of their biggest flaws, even worse than bigotry.

  • weird.. but at least she proves that god is within us all.

  • This email was one of thousands that were released by court order.

  • Luinne D’Llard

    If god existed this woman would’ve been killed long ago