Ted Cruz, Searcy Hayes, Maury, lookalike, Republicans, politician, GOP, woman female

Ted Cruz Lookalike Woman Gets $10,000 For Porn Gig

Why we’re covering this: Because we love when sex-shaming politicians have slutty, gender-bending lookalikes. 

Perhaps you saw the meme last week juxtaposing Republican buttclown Ted Cruz to his female lookalike, a 21-year-old woman named Searcy Hayes (above). Hayes appeared on a Maury episode entitled, “5 Men Tested … Will I Find My Daughter’s Father Today?” and after her resemblance to Cruz made her internet-famous, the porn tube site xHamster offered Hayes and her boyfriend (who also appeared on Maury) $10,000 to make a six-minute sex tape.

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Ted Cruz’s miserable anti-dildo and anti-LGBT political antics have drained him of all sexiness (even if he does allegedly have five mistresses), so we feel conflicted. Obviously, we love the idea of Ted Cruz as a woman, and high-fives to Hayes for scoring a porn payday, but we’re not sure that we’re going to be watching this porn…

… okay, who are we kidding? We’ll totally watch it. And we’ll make screen captures and show them alongside weird faces that Cruz has made on the campaign trail. And we’ll all laugh and enjoy the fact that this is the weird state of media and politics in 2016. And we might climax…. maaaayyyybe.