trump first 30 days

Trump’s First Month Explained in Gay Porn GIFs, Because We’re All F*cked (NSFW)

It’s hard to believe that Agent Orange, Donald Trump, has only been in office as the president of the United States for a month, considering the widespread havoc he’s unleashed on the earth.

In honor of that month—filled with too many false statements to count, shady under-the-table deals, multiple instances of attacking the press and absolutely insane executive orders—we thought we’d share 14 GIFs that metaphorically convey Trump’s first 30 days as POTUS.

As you may notice, they all contain footage of bottoms (representing the American public and, really, the entire world) getting fucked (over) by a brutal top (that’d be Trump).

Sure, the GIFs seem sexy at first, but we’d encourage you to imagine Donald Trump’s hot breath on the back of your neck. And no lube. Not so sexy anymore, huh?

Here are GIFs of 14 moments that define Donald Trump’s first month in office:

1. Here’s Donald Trump lying about the size of his inauguration on Jan. 20, 2017, arguing it was the biggest turnout in American history despite the reality of Metro rail numbers and aerial photography. (Basically the beginning of his role as Gaslighter-in-Chief.)

2. In this GIF, it’s Jan 23 and Trump says something to bipartisan congressional leadership that he’s repeatedly told the American public—and that is blatantly false—that widespread voter fraud cost him the general election’s popular vote.

3. Here’s Trump on Jan. 25, day six of his administration, signing an executive order calling for the planning and construction of a border wall and the hiring of 5,000 additional border patrol agents.

4. We didn’t think it was captured, but here’s Trump attacking the United States’ freedom of the press.

5. Here’s Trump signing the executive order for his Muslim ban on Jan. 27, which prompted mass hysteria and confusion at all American airports.

6. In this GIF, it’s also Jan. 27, and the White House is releasing a statement honoring International Holocaust Remembrance Day, but making zero mention of Jewish people.

7. Here’s Trump on Jan. 28, signing the executive order that placed evil incarnate Steve Bannon onto the principals committee of the National Security Council.

8. Here’s well-documented footage of Trump starting trade wars with multiple countries—including Mexico and China—and upsetting some of America’s key allies in the Pacific.

9. Here’s a GIF of Trump bad-mouthing the United States’ own intelligence agencies.

10. This rare footage is of Trump’s Jan. 29 raid in Yemen that resulted in the death of U.S. service member Chief Petty Officer William “Ryan” Owens, wounded three others and had significant civilian casualties while killing only 14 militants.

11. In this GIF, taken Jan. 31, Trump announces his pick for the Supreme Court, Neil Gorsuch, who—as you might’ve noticed—is not Merrick Garland, the only man with a right to the position.

12. In this one, Trump tells the National Prayer Breakfast on Feb. 2 that he’s going to “totally destroy” the Johnson Amendment—you know, that piece of law that doesn’t let religious groups engage in political activity, which has heretofore helped safeguard our First Amendment.

13. And here’s Trump kissing Putin’s ass in an interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly while simultaneously attacking our NATO allies.

14. This one’s a recent one. In it, you can see Trump flat-out lying about a terrorist attack in Sweden that never happened.

We can only imagine what’s in store for Donald Trump’s next 30 days, but we’re willing to bet there’s gonna be a lot more fucking over of the American people.