United States of Shame – What Is Your State The Worst At?

Mad props to Pleated Jeans for this incredible map of what every state is the worst at. Whether it’s the highest rate of bestiality (We’re looking at you, Washington) or the most environmentally unfriendly (Let’s hear it for Indiana!), every state has something to be ashamed about. The full list of shameful, shameful superlatives is below.

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Rationale and statistics:

Most stats taken from https://www.americashealthrankings.org/ and http://web.archive.org/web/20151001014923/http://www.census.gov:80/compendia/statab/rankings.html (unless otherwise noted)

  1. Alabama: highest rate of stroke (3.8 percent) (tied with Oklahoma)

  2. Alaska: highest suicide rate (23.6 suicides per 100,000 people in 2004)

  3. Arizona: highest rate of alcoholism

  4. Arkansas: worst average credit score (636)

  1. California: most air pollution (15.2 micrograms per cubic meter)

  2. Colorado: highest rate of cocaine use per capita (3.9 percent total population)

  3. Connecticut: highest rate of breast cancer


  1. Delaware: highest abortion rate (27 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 44)

  2. Florida: highest rate of identity theft (122.3 reports per 100,000 people)

  3. Georgia: sickly based on highest rate of influenza

  4. Hawaii –highest cost of living (tied with California)


  1. Idaho – lowest level of Congressional clout


  1. Illinois: highest rate of robbery (284.7 incidences per 100,000 people)

  2. Indiana: rated the most environmentally unfriendly by NMI solutions


  1. Iowa: highest percentage of people age 85 and older (1.8 percent) (tied with three other states)


  1. Kansas: poorest health based on highest average number of limited activity days per month (3.5 days)


  1. Kentucky: most cancer deaths (227 per 100,000 people) (BONUS fact: Kentucky also has the highest rate of tobacco smokers – 25.6 percent)

  2. Louisiana: highest rate of gonorrhea (264.4 reported cases per 100,000 people)


  1. Maine: dumbest state claim based on lowest average SAT score (1389)


  1. Maryland: highest rate of AIDS diagnosis (27.6 people per 100,000 people)


  1. Massachusetts: worst drivers claim based on highest rate of auto accidents


  1. Michigan: highest unemployment rate (13.6 percent)

  2. Minnesota: highest number of reported tornadoes (123 in 2010)


  1. Mississippi: highest rate of obesity (35.3 percent of total population)

BONUS facts: Mississippi ranks last in the most number of categories. These include highest rate of child poverty (31.9 percent), highest rate of infant mortality (10.3 percent) lowest median household income ($35,078), highest teen birth rate (71.9 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19) and highest overall rate of STDs.

  1. Missouri: highest rate of bankruptcy (700 out of every 100,000 people)


  1. Montana: highest rate of drunk driving deaths (1.12 deaths per 100 million miles driven)


  1. Nebraska: highest rate of women murdered annually

  2. Nevada: highest rate violent crime (702.2 offenses per 100,000 people). BONUS fact: Nevada also has the highest rate of foreclosure (one in 99 houses)

  3. New Hampshire: highest rate of corporate taxes


  1. New Jersey: highest rate of citizen taxation (11.8 percent)


  1. New Mexico: antisocial claim based on lowest ranking in social heath policies


  1. New York: longest average daily commute (30.6 minutes) http://web.archive.org/web/20160817083040/http://www.statemaster.com:80/graph/lab_mea_tra_tim_to_wor-labor-mean-travel-time-work

  2. North Carolina: lowest average teacher salary


  1. North Dakota: ranked last in ugliest residents report as chosen by The Daily Beast
  1. Ohio: nerdiest state claim based on highest number of library visits per capita (6.9)


  1. Oklahoma: highest rate of female incarceration

  2. Oregon: highest rate of long-term homeless people

  3. Pennsylvania: highest rate of arson deaths (55.56 annually)


  1. Rhode Island: highest rate of illicit drug use (12.5 percent of population) https://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/11/drug-use-across-the-united-states-or-rhode-island-needs-more-rehab/

  2. South Carolina: highest percentage of mobile homes (18.8 percent)


  1. South Dakota: highest rate of forcible rape 76.5 per 100,000

  2. Tennessee: chosen most corrupt state by The Daily Beast


  1. Texas: lowest high school graduation rate (78.3 percent)


  1. Utah: highest rate of of online porn subscriptions


  1. Vermont: infertility claim based on lowest birth rate of any state (10.6 births per 1,000) (tied with Maine)


  1. Virginia: highest number of alcohol-related motorcyle deaths


  1. Washington: most cases of bestiality (4 reported in 2010)


  1. West Virginia: highest rate of heart attack (6.5 percent of population)

  2. Wisconsin: highest rate of binge drinking (23.2 percent of population)

  3. Wyoming: highest rate of deadly car crashes (24.6 deaths per 100,000)


Thanks to Pleated Jeans for the best damn detective work about the worst damn things in our country.

  • I’d like to say WI shocks me…but I went to college there

  • Anonymous

    How is porn or nerds bad? Lol

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if that NJ tax rate is correct–feels more like 40%

  • Aldrea Orcinae

    Interesting, but I don’t understand how people visiting the library is a bad thing. They’re (theoretically) learning something, and not consuming resources excessively by buying new books.

  • I agree with Aldrea. All the stats are pretty much detrimental (well, oldest state not really, unless you really hate old people). How is visiting the library bad? Also, I don’t think Minnesota’s tornado stat should be counted. They should have chose something different. The number of tornadoes really has nothing to do with the number of/influence of/or overall people living there, like all the other stats. It kind of doesn’t belong. :/

  • Amy Vesper

    You’ve got New Mexico right!

  • How is being nerdy and going to the library bad? That should be commended on a totally new map of what states are best at.

  • OcassiusO

    Since when does VT’s low birthrate imply infertility, as opposed to, say, a high rate of condom use? And where is DC? What do we get, highest income disparity?

  • Caleb Andrew Beal

    I now love ohio, not as bad as the sky makes it look.

  • Cc

    Finally a successful way to learn geography!

  •  Great I am living in VA (Motorycle deaths) and I spend scads of time in WV (Heartattacks) lol

  • Stephanie Lynn Peterson

    “Delaware: highest abortion rate (27 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 44)”

    Um, I fail to see how women reacting promptly and responsibly to an unwanted or unhealthy pregnancy is negative. I would be far more concerned if that state had a high infant mortality, filicide, or postpartum depression rate. Just sayin’.

    I agree with others about nerds. 🙂

  • UTAH!!!! hahaha i love Utah 🙂 we’re not so bad 🙂

  • New Hampshire having the highest corporate tax rate is FAR, FAR, FAR, from being the worst, that puts their politicians ahead of the rest of the nation in competency. Jesus. This is why we have so many problems. Of anything that you’re going to tax, corporations should be taxed the highest. They control our government, and people still don’t even realize it.

  • Peggy Barnett

    Was D.C. included in the MD statistic?

  • Natalie Rohrer

    How is being the nerdiest state a bad thing? Is being interested in learning suddenly (or maybe not so suddenly?) a taboo in this country?

  • Minnesota is the only one that has absolutely nothing to do with its people or government!
    Ohio’s is awesome, and so is New Hampshire’s.

  • David

    Way to go Iowa, however, I would hardly call living to a ripe old age bad!