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We Asked Hornet Users to Share Their Most Outrageous Thanksgiving Story — in Exactly 10 Words

Oh, what a holiday Thanksgiving is. The day’s rather disheartening backstory aside (we now know relations between the Pilgrims and Native Americans weren’t exactly as pleasant as elementary school led us to believe), traditions of gathering the entire family together — in one small space, no less — and gorging on turkey and side dishes are known for their … eruptive nature. Who doesn’t have a crazy Thanksgiving story?

What could go wrong by having Uncle Joe and Aunt Becky in the same room when the conversation switches to politics, religion or — gasp! — your coming out moment? Well, as it turns out, a lot.

RELATED | We Asked These 4 Queer Native Americans How They’ll Be Spending Thanksgiving

As the inaugural installment of our brand-new series #10WordChallenge, we approached our beloved Hornet users and asked them a very simple question: In exactly 10 words, what’s your most outrageous Thanksgiving story?

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Here are 8 Hornet users’ craziest Thanksgiving story submissions:

 

1. Uncle wore Trump sweater that I “accidentally” spilled wine on. —Danny

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Whoops.

 

2. Get a turkey I said, he did. 32 lbs worth. —Dennis

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That’s a lotta leftovers.

 

3. Funny joke, orange soda, spit on turkey and my family! —Melinda

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Does anyone have a towel?

 

4. Cat had a seizure, mom wound up in emergency room. —Amy

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Poor kitty! (And mom, too!)

 

5. All the food is on the table when it collapses. —Wayne

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Well, that didn’t go as planned.

 

6. Grandmother asked when I was coming out … at the table. —James

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You’ve gotta love a grandmother with no fucks to give.

 

7. Cooking turkey, accidentally hit self clean button instead of timer. —Rob

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Oh, damn. That’s not good. Well, at least the turkey’s clean?

 

8. Watching turkey run around after aunt chopped off its head. —Scott

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Nope. That. Sounds. Absolutely. Horrifying.

 

What about you? Do you have a funny, horrifying or otherwise outrageous Thanksgiving story? We wanna hear it — in exactly 10 words. Sound off in the comments below.